• That’s from the Foo Fighters song “My Poor Brain” and I don’t know it seemed as good as any other title.
• I feel really strange this morning, really dizzy and a bit of a headache.
• The bachelorette party is this weekend, I’m just going to go into it as myself and make sure Phat Tony (nickname for the bride) has a really good time.
• Today I get a much needed haircut, my bangs in particular are just sad. There is a nice, somewhat pricey, hair salon right across the street. I’ve been there once and try to only use it every once and a while.
• I’ve always had this urge to move away, to the other side of the country or to another country all together. I still think about that pretty often but if it ever happens it would be many years away.
• I’m so thankful to have taken off Monday so I have some time to regroup, I really REALLY need it.
• If you stop by today please stop and say hi, I’m starting to feel like a loner in the blog world as well as the real world (yes I’m pathetic).
• I can’t get the Brokeback Mountain theme song out of my head, that’s not really a bad thing.
• I’ve learned that I looooooove tomato bisque! :P
• Oh and I now have a Guestbook for this blog so if you visit this place I’d love for you to leave a nice comment

I’ve always had a lot of issues when it comes to friends, I guess you can probably tell from past posts I’ve written. For a long time I haven’t been happy where a lot of things stand right now and I was just tired of feeling hurt. I firmly believe if things don’t feel right for a long enough time maybe you have to step back and really assess the situation.

So yesterday, after a situation that spoke volumes, I realized that maybe I have expected more of some friends than I have of others. I have several really good friends who I hardly see but it’s because of distance or them having really intense careers (ie. Doctor). I’m just happy to talk to them from time to time and they always give as much as they possibly can back.

My point is I think I have certain levels of friends and I guess I expect a certain degree from each level. The levels are online, special occasion, distance and close friends. My online friends I talk to on forums, blogs and the occasional email, it works that way. My special occasion friends are the ones I see at weddings, baby showers, etc. but it really doesn’t go much beyond that anymore. My distant friends are the ones that it’s just impossible to have anything more than the occasional emails and phone calls but everytime we come together we just connect. Of course my close friends, these are few, I see as the friends we get together as often as we can and try to make each other a priority.

What is hard is when you start realizing a close friend may be turning into a distant or special occasion friend. This switch has happened a lot and I think that is normal. So recently I had to stand back and realize that I just really didn’t want one of my close friends turn into something less, it’s a hard thing to accept. It doesn’t make anyone a bad person it just means life changes and we have to find a way to change with it. As my girl Maureen said to me:

I really think it comes down to just accepting your friends as they are, with whatever commitment they are ready to make to the relationship, wishing them the best & being ready to reconnect when you both can or when one of you needs it.

I love having friends and doing things for my friends.  I love long talks and a million laughs.  Tomorrow I’m getting together with one of my friends that went from being a special occasion friend to a close friend, we get together almost every Saturday for coffee.  I also have the bachelorette party Saturday night with a few friends I don’t get to see very often.  I need to learn to accept my friends as who they are and what they can give me and just go on with my life.

Entertainment Quote Friday from Swimming With Sharks (one of my favorite quotes):

Life is not a movie. Good guys lose, everybody lies, and love… does not conquer all.

– Buddy

Have you ever wanted something so bad that every day you go without getting it tears you up inside?ÂÂ

Have you ever wanted something so much and just start realizing it may not ever be a reality?ÂÂ

Have you ever gotten so desperate for something that you find you are willing to go to just about any length to get it?

I have…

Thirteen Things about Aurora 1. She was named after the Foo Fighters song “Aurora” 2. When she was real little she used to be evil and would attack everyone. 3. We contemplated renaming her “Lucy-Fur.” 4. We got Pilot to calm her ass down, it worked. 5. She’s still a bitch. 6. Almost every spot/stripe on her is matching except a little “coffee stain” under her chin. 7. She loves to lick Erik’s head, but not mine because my hair is too long. 8. Sometimes she gets really hyped up and runs around barking. 9. She fetches hair elastics and straws. 10. When she has to vomit she always comes to me crying. 11. She still does the suckling thing and to my favorite blanket. 12. She acts all tough but if you sneeze she’ll run to the other side of the house. 13. Every morning when I get out of the shower she whines and begs for me to let her inside. Once she gets inside she gets bored and wants to leave. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Leanne Ivory Fog Debbie Carla Kimmy Enigma Undercover Angel Carmen TNChick Caryn

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